I won't settle for a three

Last semester I was so desperate to get into the Dean's List. My goal was to get an average higher or even exactly 1.75. My grades were good but sadly, weren't enough to get me into the list. Several weeks were hell for me that semester. I had to stay in the library for group studies just to get some tips on lessons I didn't understand. I really hoped and prayed for a 1.75 but God didn't grant me my wish.
Some or even most people say that you have to fall so you could get up and succeed. Well, I guess this isn't true in my case. I lost hope after getting my 1.7619 average. It was so near yet not enough to let me achieve my goal. This semester, I expected the subjects to be extremely difficult compared to the past semester. I lost my chance, my only chance, to reach my dream of being a Dean's Lister. The subjects are a lot complicated now and required memorization in order to pass. Formulas, Articles, Functions, Texts and other concepts bombarded my mind. Not to mention all the stress that I feel when going home. I enumerate all that I have to do in my head and end up having a bad headache. So usually I take a nap when I get home (but that'll really get me cramming, heck!) Well, I know I let go of my DL dream but honestly, I won't settle for only a passing grade. If God doesn't want my name on that list, I can't bear to see mine on the list of those who'll take summer classes. Getting a three is like one step from a five. I really am not ready to mess up my transcript. My purpose in studying isn't for the knowledge (HAHAHA!) or the respect from others. I really just want to get high grades and get a good job. A job sufficient to supply my family with their needs and wants. I just want to give them a better lifestyle than what we have now. (Not that we're impoverish :)))))
I really am going to work hard for a 2.0 average. I won't settle for a passing grade. I won't settle for a three.